LESSONS LEARNED: What Can I Do?

This little gem is brought to you by the same unknown-counselor-guy who said "What's happening now?" Here I've been going on about how difficult it is to cope, and you know, some days are worse than others. I had completely forgotten about this bit of advice that can be so helpful until I took a survey asking what advice I would give to other OCD suffers. What can I do? That was my answer all while wallowing in self-pity. Today I decided to use the lesson.

Here's how it works. Your thinking, and thinking, and thinking. I think you get the idea. Of course, it's about all the things you've lost because of this monster in your head that seems to dictate what you can and cannot do. Soon the cannots completely snowball into one giant I am unable to function kind of ice cold painful blob. Now, at this point you really want to say but I can go to the store, I'm of age and everything, but that monster has been talking for so long when you try the anxiety kicks in, the thoughts bite you in the ass, and compulsions are all a flutter. So you decide the store is not going to work, and if you're like me you either end up in the bathroom literally picking yourself apart, or head to the safe zone. For me that's my bedroom, but that bathroom picking is a pretty good substitute.

Alright, so those reactions are simply unhelpful, and at least one of them causes noticeable harm. The kind where people start asking questions harm, and that's never good. This is what I find myself explaining to unknown-couselor-guy during a session. And, maybe just to prove his wall certificates are worth more than the dollar store frame they're in he says: What can you do? Wait. What? That simple! Now you're not going to answer with all the things you could do before that little monster kicked you in the ass with his big boots on. If you're like me and hiding in your room for months, you're going to say I can go to the bathroom without waking my not-a-husband, I can open the window, I can leave the blinds open (even at night!). Eventually, you'll be going to the kitchen to get a drink instead of being parched all night, which was kind of a bonus when I couldn't leave the room to go to the bathroom during the night. One day I'll share more on that positive thinking you've just witnessed.

Any who, back to the topic. What can you do? It might be small but it's better than that giant life sucking snowball of what you can't do. Only don't make it too easy. Pick a small challenge and go from there. You don't want to be saying I can tie my shoes, or dress myself unless you really do fear these things. I chose going to the bathroom during the night without waking not-a-husband first because it was a big fear. I had been telling myself all the things I couldn't do, and I'm still working on a few but, BUT I left the room during the night because I chose to walk those ten feet by myself. One small walk for me, one 10k marathon against the OCD.